The Symphony

This past Saturday evening Kellee and I attended the San Diego Symphony for their performance of Gustov Mahler's 9th Symphony written from 1909-1910. It was our first symphony and our experience was rather memorable. Kellee sat first chair in high school band as a clarinetist and was thoroughly engaged in the production, knowing each instrument, each movement, and each distinct sound. It was amazing for me to watch her as she was seemingly taken to another place in the music. I enjoyed the evening for many reasons, but primarily because of her complete rapture!

One thing I was not prepared for was the way God would speak to me through the experience. About half-way through the intermissionless, ninety-minute performance, I began to receive a download from the Holy Spirit about what I was experiencing that night in Copley Hall, and how it was a metaphor for the church.

The first thing capturing my attention was that each of the 103 members of the production were dressed all the same and yet each was unique. While each wore the standard white shirt and black suit with dress tails, each had their own unique hair color, facial hair (mostly men!), eye wear, and body structure. Each of these precision musicians had a unique way in which they "felt" the music and swayed and moved to the sound. Each of the 44 violinist played the same notes and engaged the strings with the bow at precisely the same time, and yet they were all perfectly unique. Each of the violins and the cellos were a unique color and texture and yet made the perfect, unified sound.

The conductor was masterful in his command of the production and each musician, each of them in turn responding succinctly to the dabs and swirls of his right hand. Each section of instruments, from the 9 upright basses, to the 12 cellos; the 6 clarinets and the 2 trombones instinctively responded as this man turned toward them and passed his baton through the air in their direction.

The conductor, as brilliant as he was, would be nothing without the members of the symphony to conduct. The musicians, as gifted as they were, without the direction of the conductor are only able to strum or sound out a small part of Mahler's beautiful 9th. As solo acts they may sound good, but nothing can compare to the combined sound of all 103 musicians playing in perfect unity as they are guided and directed by the master conductor.

In the Body of Christ, none of us are a soloist. God intentionally designed the church to be a unified team of unique individuals who depend on the others. We are each fearfully and wonderfully made in His image to reflect His glory, but we are not to do it alone. Together we make beautiful music for the King, but if we are out of tune or playing our own notes it can throw the entire balance off. As a Master Conductor, God has called us to join His beautiful symphony in the world. The piece we are together performing is the wondrous work called the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and our audience: A lost and dying world.

Will you play in unison with the Master?

The Road to Cesarea

In recent years I have been fascinated by Peter's great confession of faith at Ceasarea Philippi in Northern Israel. Peter always struck me as kind of an outcast among the disciples because of his big mouth and awkwardness. I imagined him as a bull in the china-shop sort of guy who would speak first then think! But somewhere deep inside I always sensed a deep love for Jesus even through all the clumsy words and actions. Somewhere deep down there is a soft heart that would eventually come out later in the gospel accounts and in the book of Acts. He is a man who wrestled deeply with himself and his own flesh but he was also a man whom Jesus loved deeply. In fact, Jesus loved him so much that He used Peter to preach the inaugural sermon on the day the church was born...the Day of Pentecost. Because I see so many similarities in the life of Peter to myself, I have often thought and meditated on the life of Peter. Some years ago I began to write a fictional account of what I believe may have taken place on the road to Ceasarea Philippi as Peter and the other Disciples followed Jesus. I hope you enjoy it!

BUT WHO DO YOU SAY THAT I AM?

“This man is different than anyone I’ve ever known. The way the people respond to him is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. He speaks with such authority, such passion. Could He be the One we’ve been waiting for? Do I dare allow myself to believe that such a thing could happen in my lifetime? Not only that, but if He is the One, what in the world am I doing here? I am a sinful man, a simple fisherman.

As I set my nets on the great Sea, I often dreamed of meeting the Anointed One, but those were scarcely more than daydreams. I saw God’s handiwork in the gentle roll of the waves and in the beauty of the fish that we pulled from our nets. The clouds as they breezed by and the rays of sun as they hit my face; the wind as it passed gently by my face hinted of his whisper to me. I’ve always felt he was with me but nothing like this.

Who is this man? Why does my heart burn in my chest every time He speaks? Why does the insanity of dropping all I’ve known and following after this man not seem to bother me at all? And what about these others? What in the world am I doing with a tax collector? I hated this guy Levi. It didn’t matter if the catch was good or not, there he was with his hand out insisting on taking my hard earned money for those tyrants the Romans. If I could have got my hands on him back then, I would have…yeah, would not have been good. And yet, here he is next to me, walking this dusty road with me. Well, all I can say is God must really have a sense of humor putting the two of us together!”

The large man ran his fingers through his beard as he scanned the unlikely band of twelve following closely behind the Teacher.

“And John, he seems to always be right at the Master’s side with that brother of his. I can’t believe he took what I said about leaving everything to follow after Jesus and tried to get the two best seats in the kingdom. Still, he is a likable enough fellow. It just seems like he’s always trying to make himself look good to the Teacher. In my heart I long to be that close too. I’m always afraid my mouth will get me in trouble. Just a few weeks ago when the Teacher was speaking to the crowds about what comes out of a man being that which defiles a man I looked pretty dumb when I had to ask Jesus to explain it to me. Even though I asked the question I know the others were thinking the same thing! I just happen to be the one who usually speaks my mind. And before that, who could forget my great success walking out to meet Jesus in the storm. I really thought it was my time to show Him I really do believe. Then…splash! That sure didn’t win me any points. Just the same I didn’t see any of these guys getting out of the boat.

At least I have that! If only for a few moments I did walk on the water! Even though I was embarrassed and humiliated, I didn’t stay that way. I seemed like the Master knew what I was thinking and although he said I had little faith, he said it in such a way that I felt the warmth of his voice calming not only the storm outside, but the storm in me. His words not only rebuked me, they seemed to restore me and give me even greater confidence! John doesn’t seem to hold back at all. He just seems to walk close to the Master and hang on His every word. James is not far off from John. Although, they are not without their big mouth blunders. “Call down fire and consume them? We tried to forbid them from casting out demons.” I guess none of us is without fault. The Teacher just seems to go beyond our flaws and bring a truth that seems to go beyond our mistakes. I’ve never really been close to any man, but with each passing day my heart yearns to be close to Him and to walk the way He walks, talk the way He talks, live as He lives. Could He be the Christ? Could He be the One? Everything inside me says He is the One. My better judgment says wait and see. Seems like this walk will never end. We’ve got to be getting close now. No one seems to be talking much. I guess we all have a lot on our minds with all we’ve seen. The Master seems to have purpose in all that He does and says. There never seems to be a wasted word or opportunity. Everything He says has weight. It usually takes me a few days to chew on what He says. Maybe that’s what everyone else is doing on this journey, contemplating what He has said to us. Nathanael seems to be no stranger to thinking about deep things and considering God. I still remember the look on his face when the Teacher first met him and He said, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” I thought he would jump out of his skin! Obviously he was doing some heavy thinking under that tree. I wonder what his thoughts were. I wonder if that was where he went to pray and consider the Messiah. When would He come? What would He look like? What would He do? I know I wondered while on the Sea, but not like Nathanael I suppose. Sometimes I feel like some of these men are much better suited to follow the Master than I. What would I say if asked the great questions of life? What if the Teacher asks me something deep and difficult? Will I know what to say? Will I mess up again? Or will I be able to say as Nathanael did with all my heart: “Rabbi, You are the Son of God; You are the King of Israel!” Sometimes I think I could not. Lord I believe, but please help my unbelief. Help me to know that I know that you are the Messiah. What is this place? The water seems to come right out of the face of the rock. All these images and statues, and that huge temple. It’s like it hangs watchfully over the whole place. There are so many people. What are they all doing? They all seem to be practicing what is forbidden by Moses. Dancing over the fire and shouting and whirling around like they have a demon. What is this place? It’s like all the idols of the world are here in one place! What a wicked and evil place. The Teacher must be here to destroy this place. How could He let it stand? I did not realize Cesarea Philipi would be so abominable. Wait, the Master is going to speak. “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?” Wow, that was unexpected! I wonder where He is going with this? Wait, the others are beginning to answer: “Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” The others are wrong! The Teacher is not just some prophet or great man! He is so much more than that! Wait…its like boldness is swelling up in me. I feel like I have to speak up. I must say what is in me! “But who do you say that I am?” Is He looking at me? Is He asking me? I know Who You are Lord! “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” There it is! I said it! With everything that is in me I know that I know that He is the Messiah, God’s Holy One! “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.” I feel like my mind is swimming. Could I really have got it right on? I feel like I know for sure inside but to have Him say such a thing out in the open in front of these others…I am overwhelmed! What rock does He mean? Does He mean me? No way. He must mean the truth of Him being the Christ. Now that is truly the only sure foundation to build upon; doubtless the only one that the gates of Hell couldn’t overcome. Still, it feels like we are at the very gates of Hell in this wicked place. I wonder what will happen now. I wonder what will become of us? Will we rule with Him? Now I’m starting to sound like John! Still I can’t help but wonder. Anyway, one thing is absolutely certain to me right now even if many other things are not: He is the Christ, the Son of the living God!